goodbye.. .

haiii..bakit kaya ganon..lagi na lang ngyayari skn toh..kung kelan gusto ko na yng isang tao..saka nagkakaron ng problema..kung kelan akala ko okay na lahat..hindi pala..haii sabi ko na nga ba eh..kung bakit kasi ganito ko eh..kung bakit kasi napakadali kong maniwala..kung bakit kasi hoping ako..kung bakit kasi hindi ako maxadong nakinig sa mga advice saken..eh di sana hindi ako nasasaktan ngaun..kung sana nung umpisa pa lang di ko na xa binigyan ng chance na makilala xa..eh di sana hindi aq nagkaka-ganito ngaun..bakit kasi mas inuna ko pa yung nararamdaman ko, na laging mali..akala ko kasi iba xa..na pag binigyan ko xa ng chance magiging okay lahat gaya ng sabi nya..haiii sabi nya pag nagkaron lang xa ng chance..hindi daw nya sasayangin un he’ll make me happy daw..oo naging happy naman ako..naalala ko yung mga time na yun..yung tipong maiisip ko lang xa napapangiti na ko..yung feeling na super saya mo kasi nandyan xa.. .sabi ko pa nun sa sarili ko..im ready na ult to fall in love..after a long time..etoh na..masaya na ko ulit..niloloko nga ko ng mga friends ko..kasi ang saya-saya ko daw,,sino daw ba yung nagpapasaya sken..

pero kahit na nung time na masaya ko..naisip ko din na "hanggang kailan ba ko magiging masaya.." lagi kong sinasabi kay god na sana..di na dumating yung time na pinaka ayaw ko..kaya lang..dumating pa din yung time na un..*sigh..parang kailan lang noh..ang saya saya ko..tapos ngaun..wala na xa..bakit ngaun ako ung nasasaktan.. .bakit ngayon ako nnman ung umiiyak..*sigh..i was asking a question..na alam ko naman yung sagot.. .kunsabagay ako din naman ung may kasalanan, kasi napakadali kong maniwala..akala ko kasi iba xa..haii para lang xang reincarnation ni prince.. kaya ngaun.. ako nanaman yung loser.. kasi ako yung naniwala @ umasa na magiging maayos ang lahat.. haii siguro ganyan talaga ang buhay.. .ayan tuloy napaka-bitter ko na ata ulet.. . sbi nga ng mga friend ko "eng-eng" daw aq sa LOVE puro kasi emosyon ang ginagawa ko...ok i must admit..mahina ko sa LOVE.. kaya sbi nga ng bhezzy ko "be ready" dahil di ko daw kayang makipag-sabayan sa iba.. dhil alam nya na etoh nga weakness ko..

*sigh..bakit ba kailangan mangyayari skn toh.. wala nman aqng gingawang masama..parang, ano ba.. wla na ba tlga kong karapatan maging happy? gusto ko lang naman maging msaya..@ magkaron ng isang taong mag-mamahal skn ng totoo..hindi yung puro pang-good lang.. .nakakasawa na talaga..parang de javu eh noh.. ganitong-ganito kasi yung ngyari samen ni prince.. haiii basta alam ko darating din yung time magiging happy din ako.. sorry ha..kasi ang emo ko.. i cant pretend na im happy.. .coz' this is what i really feel.. . but i know SOON i'll be okay..

its hard to say goodbye.. .
pero yan na lang talaga ang kaya kong gawin..

some would call me OA..but hell! this is me..

i asked god in my dreams..

"why did you have to create pain & hurt? why not all laughter & cheers? why do we have to cry? why aren't smiles painted in our faces?

God hold my hand and said

"my child..when your happy..you forget me..sometimes..i let you experience pain..for you to recognize me..remember, thru pain, im making you a fighter..the more you cry..the more you're hurt..the STRONGER you become.."

another day.. :)

"when God knows you're READY for the responsibilty of commitment..He'll reveal the right person under the right circumstances.. ."
wait patiently don't waste your time searching and wishing..Grow and be ready.. and you'll see.. .God will give you a LOVE STORY far better than you could ever dream of.. . :)


-> 3-11 pm aq today..kaya e2 may time ako kahit konti na mag-blog ei sorry kung di ko na nppntahan ung mga blog. nyo..bawi aq nxt time or mamaya pag-uwi ko ^^, sanay naman aq sa puyatan eh..ayun 2nd week. ko na sa work ko.. . okay nman yung 1st week ko dun sa OR..mababait nman sila & friendly..pati nga mga surgeon eh.. niloloko nila ko, ang tahimik ko daw!!! pati ngiti parang pinag dadamot ko daw ahahaha ^_^ *naku!!! kung alam lang nila kung gano' ko kadaldal heheh, oh my. talaga..sana magkaroon na ko ng close friend dun..mamamatay na yata ko heheh, para kong "pipi" :D tapos ano pa bang ngyrai last wk..hmmm hindi din maxadong naging maganda ung wk. ko last week. *it's a long story..
just another passerby.. pero okay na din yun.. :) basta sa ngayon..sana maging magaling din akong OR NURSE :) whooohooo!!!! reach for our dreams!!! heheh :p

-> malapit ko na din pa lang matapos ung half blood prince(HP)
after nito..sisimulan ko na din yung newmoon ^^, exciting daw sabi ng kuya ko!!! heheh

_TEKA!!!! GO LAKERS!!! WHOOOHOOOO!!! WANNA BET?!!! ^^, YANG TEAM KO MANANALO!!! WHAHAHAHA GO BABY kobe!!! :D lols ipupusta ko yung sweldo ko whahahaha as if naman meron eh noh!!! lol

Los Angeles Lakers guard Kobe Bryant shoots a three-point basket over Orlando Magic guard Mickael Pietrus of France in the second quarter during Game 3 of their NBA Finals basketball game in Orlando, Florida, June 9, 2009

okei 'till here na lang muna.. :) and teka lang ha..hindi aq emo. ampf ahahaha aun basta pag may time ako daan din ako sa blog nyo..miss ko na kayo super!!! miss ko na mag-adik!!! ^^, ingat kayo mwah!!! :)

UPDATES:

WhOOOOHO0O0O0OOO CHAMPION LAKERS!!!! :)

The Los Angeles Lakers Kobe Bryant (L) holds the MVP trophy as teammate Derek Fisher holds the Larry O'Brien Championship trophy after the Lakers beat the Orlando Magic in Game 5 of their NBA Finals basketball game in Orlando, Florida June 14, 2009

god is good :) love you sooo much.. =) mwah!!!

a new day has come!!! =)

wheeeeeee i'm sooooooo HAPPY ^_^ haiii grabe noh..parang last week lang ang emo. ko heheh whaaaaaa thank you po talaga god.. mwah!!! iloveyou poh!!! :) ur the best!! talagang love nyo po ako..kahit na ang dami dami ko ng kasalanan sa inyo..hehehe ayun thank you soooo much po god!!!..masaya ko kasi lahat ng wish ko natupad.. :)

>>>>>JOB
"God sometimes delays His help to test our faith and energize our prayers.
Our boat may be tossed while He sleeps, but He wakes up before it sinks.."
God stands by you when you are down and out, guides you when you think of quitting, inspires you you when things seems confusing......
GOD knows, GOD sees, GOD cares! - kuya zeb :)

thank you po god.. mwah!!!

» Click to continue reading :) «

nung mon. nagpasa ko sa hosp. malapit d2 smin.. then nung tuesday tumawag cla sa bahay..kya lang wala aq..hihih may lakad kc ko nun ^^ ayeeeee heheh then nung wed. pumunta ko dun sa hosp. for my interview.. :) then aun konting tanong-tanong..super kabado ko nun hehe akala ko bigo nanaman aq ^^, then after ng interview nag-fill up na q ng employees application form nila.. im happy na din kahit VN lng muna ko..kasi lhat nman dumadaan sa gan2.. :) tapos nakakatuwa tlga kasi sa fave. area pa ko na-assign!!! ^^ sa OR wheee then sa mon. start na ko.. :) 7-3pm aq..grabe after ng interview super happy aq para kong sasabog sa tuwa!!! then sakto paglabas ko ng hosp. dumating na ung parents ko..tapos aun nag si-sigaw aq dun sa kotse ahihihihi ^_^ ung nanay @ tatay ko natatawa nlng skn ^^ kasi naman alam din nila kung gano ko ka-gusto magka-work na sa hosp. :)

whaaaaaaa
god sorry po kung medyo..
nawalan ako ng TRUST/HOPE...
pero di nman totally diba..
kasi evernight naman po tayong
nag-uusap..ayun..thank you po
kasi kahit na super-duper-kulit ko
dahil paulit-ulit lng po yung hinihiling ko
di po kayo nagsasawa huhuhuh
thank you po & love you poh..mwah!!! :)

>>>>>HIM
"i won't be afraid na.. to take chances even if i might get hurt. i would just be strong & take it..because i might miss the single chance that would change my life & make me happy..." =)

» ayeeee click to read ehehe... «

im soooooo happy kasi i met him...

dixson p. paras =)

ayun sana this time real happiness na talaga heheh :) and ayun thank you for making me happy now...sana ur happy din..kahit na di aq sweet and ganito lang ako... basta i'm always here for you...miss you soooo much =) wala na ko maxadong masabi LIMITED pa kasi lols hehe ^^, ...basta alam mo na yun... :p ingat ka lagi.. mwah!!!

just want to share this "quote" :)
Love someone & be happy about it, even if u know it cannot last forever.. It's not about having someone nor about owning a relationship.But it's about being happy..because you're inlove. there are purposes & meaning behind all events, & these develop us as a person & as a lover. Whatever relationship you have in your life now..is precisely the one you need at the moment..Dont pressure yourself with fear of losing someone. Instead, while you can, make the most of what you have.." =)
--> loveit.. =)












naku mag-react na yung mag-re-react hehehehe :D

oooopps kanina pala galing yung bhezzy ko dito sa bahay.. :) ayun kaya medyo busy din aq today kaya di aq maxadong nakapag-ol ^^, wala kaming ginawa kundi magkwentuhan,magtawanan,@ balikan yung mga pinag-gagawa namin nung bata kami.. hehehe yung mga letter nila sken nung h.s kami nakatago pa dn..sayang nga lang kasi di namin kasama ung 1pa naming bhezzy..nasa london na kasi sya..*we miss you sooo much karen!!! mwah!!! nakakatuwa din kasi gr.6 pa lang kami magkakaibigan na kmi.. :) wheeeeee kaka-miss talaga..kasi dati walking distance lang yung mga bahay namin..pare-pareho kasi kaming nakatira sa camp crame..pag nagluluto ko, papapuntahin ko lang sila..ganon dn sila..haiiii..pero shempre ganon talaga ang buhay..ang importante magkakaibigan pa din kami.. :) Anyway nagluto aq ng baked mac. for her!!! inalila nya ko lols. heheh tapos nung hapon pinasyal ko xa dito smin..

» click to show our pix. :) «

yummmmmm hahahah ang takaw naman!!! lols

wackieness sayang wala ka dito karen..

karen across the country

we miss you sooo much.. :)

karen.shel.madz.
etoh kami noon..year 2004 *mga nene pa kami heheheh

tapos payat pa kami ni madz dito ^^ ahahahah


etoh naman kami last year 2008..

after namin manuod ng twilight hehe ^^,

bhezzy forever!!! :) love yah mwah. :)